“SIMON: Hello and welcome to budget late-night indie show, Never mind the buzzcocks. I’m bitter, snotty-faced, little public schoolboy, Simon Amstell and I’d like to begin with an apology. On last week’s show I upset Preston from Preston and Chantelle. I realise now that they are better than me. Preston is a wonderful singer and Chantelle invented the popular saying “Oh my God!” I was unfair in my representation of Chantelle’s book. It’s not bad, there are some really interesting bits. (READING THE BOOK) “Suddenly…” Okay!”

“Never mind the buzzcocks”